What do you want to be when you grow up...

Forgive me. I had to cut the top it was too personal to post. Please enjoy the rant.

I however, have no hidden agenda. I am face value. I am a rarity. I have gotten hurt many times before because of it. But with my odd type of crazy, that every woman in my family has been gifted, I am insane enough to continue being the wild free-spirited person I am. I am a rarity that preserves no matter the emotional or sexual abuse I’ve experienced in my lifetime.

So when I act. I act with love and compassion of humans; unfortunately impulsively. Because that’s what I want (love and compassion), and that’s what I need. Frankly, I want to change the world, and it’s the dreamer in me that thinks that I can. But to first change the world you have to be the change in the world.

I know I should be scared walking out at night, at people’s houses that I don’t know, people at my house, getting into a strangers’ car to go somewhere I’ve never been. It is never been okay for a pretty skinny white girl to go where the wind takes her because it is “too dangerous”.

While I see the statistics, and I myself have gotten hurt over these things… I won’t stop. Because to stop would mean society has won in breaking my spirit. The night may not have been awesome, but I could’ve ended up somewhere where I was in a position to help someone that needed me. If I want the world to change, I have to be change. I have to be that one NOT shitty person with a hidden agenda. If enough people experience that, they are given hope. Hope has the ability to change the world.

Its not that I love you wholly, because I do. But I have a love for the potential this world could be. And I want to have an impact on it not just as a teacher… but a minor statistic that creates a butterfly effect that can change the world’s future outcome. I want to be the person that buys the person a meal that needs it, a mentor at a bar after your divorce papers went through, a voice of reason in a life decision, someone to tell you look beautiful, someone to tell you to get your shit together. These things can come from strangers, we’ve just forgotten and become so guarded that we are no longer a community. We have lost our hope in humanity.

I want to restore that hope, maybe not completely. But maybe, if I inspire enough people in my lifetime to inspire more people in their lifetime, there will become a nation of people who are genuine, compassionate, and fucking give a shit.